hi everyone, its been about 2 weeks since i blog. erm..life have been really hard for the past half month. kids at qiaonan are preparing for heir competition and being an inexperienced coach, they did quite badly in their competition. however, the consolation is that they nv lost to a sch that dun have china players. thats was something great to me. haiz...competition has been plenty and definitely tiring. anw...just wanna take the chance and thanks for the trainers that once helped me b4. ur effort will be deeply embeddled in my heart. special thx to jasmine, joanne,angela..and the other boys. thx so much all of u. u peopple are the ones that believe in me, yet i disappoint u with such results. so sorry. but i promise i will be a better coach in the future. after i watched the level of competition at east zone primary sch. its at such high level that those people are performing to a level equivalent to jc and better than secondary schools. haiz, its really a toughie for me. anw..just wanna say sorri to jas..sory to have frightened u with those sms. sorry to ask u the wrong question at the wrong time. u are a great gal and i dun deserve such a great gift from god. perhaps a yr or two till i become a famous coach ba. thanks anw for everything. u are a great person.

anw..to all those graduating pupils of qiaonan. study hard and work hard for ur psle.i still remember the smiles and jumpiness u guys bought to me. its was a hard yet enjoyable time.i am definitely going to miss that. all the best for ur future..and thanks some of u who give me the inspiration of how qiaonan table tennis should head.

for the gers team: towards the era of paya lebar gers

for the guys team: towards the era of speed, spin, power, and weird play.

i guess thats the guidelines of training i drawn out after days of nightmares,  oh ya speaking of nightmares, i have one recuring nightmares about me being murdered by someone, and the other one is i saw her being in a sport car with a him and i was chasing it and i was knocked down.thats real spooky..haiz, i guess its in the middle of the night and i am getting cranky. thanks for anyone who is viewing this blog if there is..thx...graduating students of qiaonan..my god bless all of you.

s poly is getting suckier and suckier day by day. i really dun want to be one who will work in engine room in the future. i want a life. i want something i can put myself in full use of. i hate those decision made by my parents. in poly, i am suppose to excel in maths and stuff, but iend up exceling in presentation and language and stuff. aerospace electronic is definitely not wat i want. ii always picture myself wearing business suits in cbd area or wearing nice casual while being a designer. but the dream is all gone.i can only picture myself wearing smock icovered with dirty engine oil. its been six months since i actually spoken to a ger in poly. my course has no gers, not that i am lustful or dirty-minded. buit i just miss the accompaniment of the opposite sex.i miss all of them,..steph, joy,joa,jas, ange, miao, wen. u know who are u gals. i miss ur support, i miss the long talk that we had. its seems the distance between me and u gals are getting further. everything in life is getting bland.

it was two days ago, i received my o level retake results. remember the time i told u i cant go to any jc, now my points is 11 now.i can go to any jc i like.but i am not at all happy. in fact, i hate myself more. my heart wanted to go jc, but there is too much things that is stopping me. the possibility of failing a level,the possibility of losing qiaonan and many more.there is just too much to think abt. how i wish i had failed my eng this time round.

i miss nyjc, everything at there. i still remember the time we do the eng presentation, the time we do the debate. the happy times of discussion despite of many conflicts and arguments. the endless time we use to hang out at the discussion room. everything is so great. that then is the life i wanted! at least there is somebody around me to talk to me. to care for me. but in poly. everything is heartless, i am doing stuff i hate.listening to ppl who dun even know my name and dun understand me. i really love u guys at nyjc, how i wish i got my results and appeal to nyjc the nxt few days. but i just dun know. my mind is in a confusion.

i am no longer a player,no longer a table tennis player. i am just someone who has lost his aggresiveness and vibe in everything.i am now a coach that need to bear responsibility at everything i do. when i look at those faces in my primary sch that i teach, i cant bear to leave them, slowly and gradually, they have become frens and confide in my empty life when i was deprived of my jc frens.  i dun bear to leave them for a jc life. but its my future at sake!

i scold them and shouted at them, but i truly care for them. they are just bunch of kids who despite naughty but are all kind hearted.i really dun bear to leave them. it really hurts my hearts to leave. but iare they old enuff to understand my feelings?  my time is getting lesser. i have to decide between jc or poly.i really hate my life. its torturing me. i hate my everything. i am really in a lost. can someone help me to decide this?

god pls help me to decide this. i am just a person without a life. i am living in a world that my parents arranged for me..a world that i hate. when i walk to bugis, i just hope i am one of them. i am just 17,yet i behave like a 30.i want back my old jc life. i want back everything.can u give me? pls.

 after a hard day at work, finally rest..thanks gals for ur hardwork

erm.finally...my first day of work has arrived. its great actually. anw.wanna first thanks all the traineres for giving ur everything to the school. from what i observed. we did something yesterday that is harder and more torturing than any other competition. that...is to play with the irregular balls of the young children. its really a torture.but i hope u guys have fun in the end. erm..so..i guess first day of work has gone well...children obey me..no children fight with me..children loves their elder sister as in their female trainers.evrything seems great. but now i am more worried about fri. pincipal will come down again for the second time. i really hope all the trainers will be present again..to help me...erm..anw..thanks guys for all ur hardwork...i guess i am only rich euff to trreeat u drinks..but i promise once i have done everything i could for qiaonan. the next time i treat u guys will be at a posh, fancy restaurant, thanks again..u guys has been great. hope to see u guys on fri..hopefully..

 great job, jas. u are one kind soul. . how i wish i have a younger sis like u.thanks again. rmb.i own u one.thanks again